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Honkytonk Asshole 
Honkytonk Asshole (Baxter Black) 
I hang out in bars, bother the dollies, Speak when I'm not spoken to; Bum cigarettes, flirt with the waitress, Wearing a mirror on my shoe; I sing all the songs along with the jukebox, Tell jokes that everyone's heard, Then late in the evening the bartender calls me I've never forgotten his words: 
cho: Honkytonk asshole I'm talking to you I've told you and told you But there's no getting through. You're bad for my business, You bother and bore, Honkytonk asshole, Get your ass out the door. 
I write on the walls, throw butts on the floor Brag about horses I've rode, Dance with a darlin' and step on her feet They think I'm one brick shy a load. But I do right well, feelin' up dollies Tellin' my stories out loud Until that bartender figgers me out And calls to me over the crowd. 
From The Whorehouse Bells Were Ringing, Logsdon Apr98